Perhaps it’s time to call Rent-a-Friend

 

I would like to take this opportunity to discuss a bizarre new phenomenon that (mostly) comes with adulthood: the friend crush.

Picture not related...except they're all friends, I guess

The friend crush does not mean a crush on a friend, though I’ve been there (oh ho ho, yes I have). The friend-crush is someone who you reeeeaaaally want to be your friend. Platonically. Honestly, a lot of the behavior and emotions can seem similar to a romantic crush, so it can get kind of confusing unless you keep your wits about you. Like a ninja. A social ninja.

Basically, this hearkens back to a conversation I had with my cousin a few months ago about friend-dates. He recently moved to a new city (as did I), and we commiserated over the embarrassment and heartache that comes with making new friends. If you want to make new friends outside of coworkers, you essentially have to…court people. It’s similar to romantic dating in that it’s awkward and laden with faux pas. Should I friend them on Facebook or see if they friend me? Is it too soon to call them? Should we see a movie? Oh god, why won’t they answer my email? And so on and so on ad nauseam. If you’re lucky, friend-crushes lead to friend-dates. Only if you’re lucky. (Also, I should note that as I am bad with romantic-dating, I am also inept at friend-dating. Stupid social awkwardness and phobias!)

You’ve been there too, right?

Right now I’m really friend-crushing hard on a few people, and it’s filling my life with anxiety and goddamn crazy-ass butterflies. My brain’s all “when will you see so-and-so next?” or “maybe if you go to X, you can see so-and-so” or “maybe you’ll see so-and-so if you go to THAT Trader Joe’s.” God, my brain– it’s just bedlam. I got an unexpected email from one friend-crush recently (the substance of which was essentially nothing, but that don’t matter in a friend-crush) and it filled my day with puppies and rainbows. I responded, and then…nothing. My rainbow puppies died.

There’s optimism followed by crushing feelings of despair and loneliness. Who has time for a boyfriend, I’ve got FRIENDS TO MAKE!

What I’m saying is: I sometimes wish I could go back to my school days where you just became someone’s friend because you were in the same class and both liked the Backstreet Boys and didn’t hate each other right away. Oh, college.

 

 

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One response to “Perhaps it’s time to call Rent-a-Friend

  • Ivy McDougalhopper

    Tell me about it! I went on a friend date tonight, and I think it went well, but who is to know? And you really have to be careful not to come on too strong. I totally wrote about my fear of scaring off potential friends by my over-eagerness. Making new friends is difficult, especially when you are an acquired taste (such as myself). Also, I don’t care for the Backstreet Boys, and we still became friends!

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