Like Keats, but a trillion times worse

O, emergency deodorant
That I bought in the travel aisle at Target that one time,
O how oft thou have gotten me out of a tight spot!
By dispelling the morning odor
That I, in a dreamy haze,
Forgot to eradicate with my normal deodorant.
Sitting in my purse all day
Oft unused
Dost thou thinkst thou goest unappreciated?
Nay, mine fresh powder-scented friend.
Perish the thought!
Just knowing that thou art with me,
Steadfast in my bag,
Next to my tampons,
Thou giveth me the courage to take social risks.
Or leave for a spa at a moments notice,
Or stay on a friend’s couch if my wine consumption hath been too great.
Thou makest mine putrid vanilla-scented body spray obsolete.
The world thanks thee for this.
As do I.
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