Just wait until I hit that quarter-life crisis (any day now)

Being an adult kind of sucks sometimes. I don’t think many people are going to deny that. I mean, once I just woke up and couldn’t move my neck. For no reason. Also, when I was a kid, I didn’t have a MasterCard bill to make me depressed. 

But sometimes being an adult is awesome. In my boredom (the type of boredom that isn’t interrupted by an emergency end-of-the-world teenage crisis every five minutes), I decided to make an oddly esoteric list on why being an adult is awesome:

I can watch things like this

  1. Last night I had dessert for dinner. Because I could. And for dessert, I had carrots.
  2. I actually like vegetables, so it’s not really this whole big thing to eat them.
  3. I can drive, so if I really feel like a Mounds bar at 9:00 PM, then I can go out and buy one. And yes, that scenario is way too specific to not have happened before.
  4. I did not attend high school during the era of Facebook and fancy phones that can take video. Ugh, can you imagine being a teenager and social networking? Kill me before that happens.
  5. I own MY OWN television, MY OWN rug, and MY OWN printer. You want to so much as LOOK at my television, you had better ask me. I mean, I researched what was the best television to buy in my price range and then I bought it. Talk about pride of ownership. What did I have 10 years ago? A discman I got as a present.
  6. I can drink alcohol and say things like, “Ah, yes, I prefer a merlot to a cabernet sauvignon. But to each his own,” and people might assume I know what I’m talking about.
  7. I am old enough to be flippant about things.
  8. I realized which math is actually important for real life, and I have promptly forgotten the rest.
  9. If I don’t want to go on a run or do some other physical activity with somebody, I can say something like, “Oh, sorry, I can’t. I have a bad knee,” and people accept it as fact, because when you’re old, your body falls apart.
  10. I understand hidden jokes in cartoons. Who knew that they could be so RACY?
  11. I’m just old enough that I’m not expected to know how to work every piece of technology ever. Which is awesome, since I don’t know how.
  12. I have learned the value of a dollar, and I have learned to disregard this knowledge when I go to Target.
  13. I can end lists with 13 items. Kids always stop at 10…or 100 if they’re annoying and ambitious.

2 responses to “Just wait until I hit that quarter-life crisis (any day now)

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