I’m so full of fun that everyone should be jealous

I really don’t have much to say, so I’m just going to take a swig of this cotton candy vodka and see where life takes me.

Mmmm. It’s like a carnival in my liver.

Behold! This is my eye!

Where did that come from?!


So you know when you’re going to have a houseguest and you’re like, “God, I should probably clean. Or at least fold all these piles of laundry.” But then you think that there’s no point in doing it NOW, since this person is arriving in a week and that’s still plenty of time to re-mess up your place. So you wait. And then things come up and you get lazy and then all of a sudden they’re coming, like, tomorrow. And then you have to decided what’s more important: dignity or watching a couple hours of TV. What I’m saying is that I have no desire to sweep and vacuum.  Whatever, it’s just my sister anyway. And if she wants to stay with me, then she better get used to the tumbleweeds of hair that will be blowing past her while she sleeps. And then…holy crap is that a cut on my hand? When did I cut my hand? Was it when I was cutting cucumbers? Why is it just stinging now? Aaaahhhhh!

Nah, I’m good.

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