In the spirit of Halloween, here are some easy costumes for lazy people:

  1. Wear your normal clothes and when people ask you what you are, say, “Your worst nightmare.”
  2. Buy cheap fangs, throw some glitter on yourself and go as a Twilight-style vampire (or forget the glitter and go as a True Blood-style vampire).
  3. Wear two different color polo shirts and pop the collars. Then take a plastic bag with the word “douche” written on it and put it over your head. Voila! Douche bag!
  4. Take a blouse and black pants/skirt and put white-out hand prints on the ass/crotch/boobs. Carry around a clipboard or manila folder. Hello there, Sexual Harassment!
  5. If you are a person of any ethnicity that isn’t white, just put on normal clothes and see what crazy things people guess you are. YOU’VE JUST BEEN PROVEN RACIST BY THE RACIST PROVER!
  6. Feeling a little risque? Buy a cheap Bible and cover yourself in the pages from Genesis. Boom! Creationism!
  7. On a white shirt, do one of those iron-on transfers of a picture of your face. You’re Inception-You. (This is sooo last years, but whatever).
  8. Wear shorts that are a little too short/long (depending on gender), a colorful tee shirt, socks with sandals, and a visor. Carry a map and go around asking people for directions, you tourist.
  9. Cut out a big cardboard frame from a box or something. Fasten it to yourself, making sure there’s enough room to one side of you to get another person in “frame.” Stand next to people and argue/make out with them. You’re on reality TV. (Bonus if you shout “I’m not here to make friends!” a lot).
  10. Make a schnazzy mask out of a paper plate, sharpies, and a box cutter. It’s best if you make this one at work when you’re bored.

Look at that fine, fine craftsmanship.

2 responses to “What Am I? WHAT ARE YOU?

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