Tag Archives: Newspaper

A newspaper that’s REALLY not worth the subscription costs

Because I’m shameless and fresh out of ideas, I decided to steal an idea for a blog post from the ingeniously creative Mighty McDougalhopper (imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, you know, and don’t worry—no one reads this anyway).

This is my past week, as told through the headlines of an imaginary (and poorly written) newspaper.

Complicated Curry Recipe Attempted
Overall Success, But Way Too Much Ginger, Critics Say

Lack Of Disposable Income Causes Stress
Money Spent Indiscriminately Anyway

Internet Dating: The New Craze
The Odds Are Good, But The Goods Are Odd

Local Girl Goes On Two Dates In One Week
And Neither Ran Away On Sight!

Best Birthday In Recent Memory
Annual Cry Averted!

Is 24 The New 16?
Quiz Inside!

Karaoke Twice In One Week?
Local Girl is a Juke Box Hero!

Local Girl Only One In Country Not To Watch The Super Bowl
So No, She Didn’t See the Awful Halftime Show

Dodgeball Game Incites Panic and Social Anxiety
Players Remain Optimistic For Future Fun

Car Vacuumed After Pulling Tumbleweed’s Worth of Hair From Driver’s Side
It’s Never Been So Clean, Local Girl Claims

Self Esteem Closing At An All-Time High!
Things Can Only Go Downhill From Here, Experts Predict